Lovely little creature

is tarot!

it’s tarot!!

i found the perfect alternative to religion and it’s tarot!!

A little over a year ago, a friend of mine did a lot of bad things in an attempt to tarnish the trust and reputation i had in our mutual friend group. the attempt was not successful, and they ended up being excommunicated from the community. nearly everyone blocked this person. cut them out of their lives, and i had not spoken to them since.

until a few months ago when they reached out to me.

This person apologized and expressed a desire to reconnect. to become friends again. i was open to it! i accepted!

this person recently told me that they had often consulted their tarot deck for guidance on whether or not it was wise to reach out to people in the friend group. according to her, the cards only ever gave an indication that i-along with another girl from the group-would be open to reconnecting. whenever she asked about reaching out to anyone else from the group, the results were unfavourable. she reached out to us only when the cards gave indication that the timing was right.

that’s some badass shit!

i had always been aware of this friend’s penchant for tarot, but also figured it was something beyond me. too spiritual and mystical for a simple creature as i. but hearing her explain her usage of the tarot for something so… down-to-earth? and relatable? this was new to me. she utilized the tarot as a means of working through her emotions and sorting through her thoughts to aide in her decision to reaching out to the people she wronged. this kind of usage didn’t sound complicated at all! it was something that helped her find the right answers… i wanted in!

how is tarot related to religion?

I’ve previously documented my thoughts on the allure of religion, and my feelings can be summed up as follows: Religion is neat because it gives you faith in your moments of need. Religion can help you cope through hard times. Religion can provide a sense of community.

But religion is not for me, because i could never become dedicated enough. i appreciate the aesthetics. i love nuns. but the most i’ve ever done is listen to the 18+ hour audiobook “the bible, for dummies“. I don’t want to go to church. i don’t want to change myself. i like a lot of bad things and i’m fine with that. i don’t like the idea that i may have to conduct myself in a different, ‘acceptable’ manner in order to be perceived as a “good” Christian.

Tarot shares a lot of similarities. tarot can be used as a tool to help you sort through your thoughts and feelings. you can consult it in your times of need. and of course, there is an immense community behind it.

tarot feels different from religion to me because i don’t feel that same pull to conform or conduct myself in a certain way. i am a bad person and i can remain a bad person.

i learned early on that everyone engages with tarot differently. some people are a lot more mystical and ritualistic in the way they go about it. they treat it like a big, formal affair. they may light some candles and speak directly to the “spirits”. some may even “charge” a crystal. whatever the hell that means.

some people, like me, bought a straightforward rider-waite deck and dedicated hundreds of hours to studying the typical meanings of the cards–just to ask my deck last night if it would be a good idea to goon before bed. my deck always has my back 😎

there is no pressure in this community. there’s no “right way” to practice tarot. and if someone is pressuring you, then they’re just a snobby b-word and/or probably wants to sell you a course, haha

ironically, my biggest gripe with tarot is with the community. the only social media i really use are youtube and reddit. and the majority of the content/posts you will see in these spaces tend to be:

“Does he like me?“

“Is he thinking of me?”

“Should I go back to him?”

“✨This video is NOT random! 🌠You are MEANT to see this message! 🌔Watch now before it’s too late!!🔮”

“Is he happier without me?”

Pathetic.

so anyways, tarot has taken over as one of my greatest interests

(second only to video game creation, of course. i like to tell stories!)

i consulted my deck on whether i should become a tarot content creator–with youtube in the forefront of my mind. I pulled a card.

The Wheel of fortune, reversed .

“Hmm…” I mused aloud. “I don’t know what this means…“

My perfect partner was quick to put an end to my delusions. “Don’t you start lying, now. You know exactly what that means.”

And he was right. I knew what it meant. 😔It would not have been a good idea to try and make tarot content on youtube. Sure, i could do it, but it wouldn’t be promising. Especially with my personality. and i wouldn’t be willing to make shitty clickbait love-reading videos to farm engagements. it was hard for me to even picture any of it working.

I shuffled my deck, prepared to ask a slightly different question. I wanted to know if it would be a good idea to make tarot content for my blog. As I shuffled, a card spat out at me. It laid upright, eager to make its prescence known.

The 10 of pentacles

This was promising. This conveyed to me that writing about tarot on my blog would be highly fulfilling. Satisfying, even. It could be lucrative–not just because of the content itself, but also because it means this would be another way of keeping my blog alive. i love my blog. i love visiting other people’s blogs. i have been a bit too neglectful of this place. There aren’t many people or places I can turn to ramble about it. My blog would be perfect for it.

I still wanted to properly “ask” my question to the deck, however, so I pulled another card.

Reversed Strength.

A reversal of… courage? … Is there something wrong with me?

a little unsure of the meaning, i pulled another card for clarification.

The Empress.

My interpretation is that the reversed strength was trying to advise me to not hesitate or doubt myself on this. I had already pulled the 10 of pentacles earlier, which was a perfect “all clear!” sign. The clarifying Empress reiterates that i have a lot of love, compassion, and care for the hobby. Together, they tell me that i should have the confidence to go ahead with the idea of posting about tarot on my blog. There’s a lot I could bring forth to the community thanks to my fucky weird brain and personality, after all.

it’s a good idea!

i am not becoming a tarot-only blog

i still intent to post other weird musings and critiques of things that get stuck in my brain. i am simply much more aware of the fact that i could ramble about my love for tarot on here as well.

i actually intend on making a devlog sort of post soon to detail the progress i’ve been making on my latest project so far. it’s a project born from a tremendous passion. a very bad, very self-indulgent sandbox/romance/slice of life type of game. i don’t think many people would enjoy it

thank you for being with me today